Santa

It has been a few weeks since we ventured out to the mall.
Mema, and Mom and Dad have all had colds.
Actually, I made them separate dinners for the holiday and took it to their house, instead of
them coming to mine.

Mema still sounded a bit stuffy this morning
when I picked her up, and was in a confused, blah mood.
The mall was just what she needed!
There were tons of little kids playing when we arrived.
They all flocked to Mema too, and all had something to say.
They were telling her where they were going to eat,
who was who's brother,
and how they acted up,
who was riding in the mini van with them,
what they had for breakfast...
waffles and cereal seemed to top the list.
And orange juice!
Then, all of the sudden, all the kids left.
Must have been lunch time.
We had already had our coffee and cookie,
so we decided to walk and see Hilary,
who was working at the Walking Company.

Half way down the mall,
and we stopped in to the Walking Company
for a breather.
We decided to go see Santa Claus.
Hil, of course wanted to come!
So, the three of us hiked to the other end of the mall.
Needless to say, we had our exercise!

There was no line to Santa, so we walked right in.
At first Mema put up a fuss,
because she wasn't dressed for a photo.
But when Santa crooked his finger at her,
she went right over,
with the funniest, shocked, flirty expression.
He patted his lap and she sat right down.
Hil and I gathered around,
and the first picture taken, was perfect!
Mema started to get up when Hil and I went to pay for the pic,
and Santa held on to her,
He wanted to know what she wanted for Christmas.
This surprised her, and she didn't have an answer.
He told her, he would bring her lots of surprises!
Not sure how I feel about this Santa.....
kind of icky, maybe...but Mema was all smiles!

As we walked out of the mall,
all Mema could talk about was how  she never imagined
that she would be sitting on Santa's lap at age 88.
Seriously, all the way home,
she had a huge grin and kept giggling at
what adventures we get into!

I think we will all put green sweatshirts on,
Mema in a red sweater and santa hat...
(she would make an awesome Mrs. Claus)
and get our family pic taken with Santa.

Good times!

school

When Mema returned to South Bend
after spending a few months in Florida,
she began attending Milton Adult Center
two days a week.
This is a place where older folks go
who have dementia, or Alzheimer's,
and need a place to be.
The first morning she was to attend,
Mom went to wake her up.
She was laying in bed with her eyes opened.
"Is it time to go to school?"
she asked.
She hopped up, got dressed, put earrings on,
ate breakfast ans was ready to go!

When she arrived, she got a name tag and signed in.
Waving goodbye to Mom, off she went.

A few weeks later,
it was my turn to pick her up.
She goes from 10am-2pm, Monday and Wednesday.
I arrived a little early so I could observe.
I was buzzed through the secure door, and waited in a room
where I could watch the activities in the next room.
The staff was playing that suitcase exchange game
I have forgotten the name of.
Mema was sitting at a middle table with another woman.
The other woman was facing away from the table.
There were about 25 people in the room.

One lady came into the room I sat in,
and observed me for a while.
I believe she had Alzheimer's,
as she kept trying to get out of the door into the lobby.

After a while, all the folks came into my room for story time.
I sat behind Mema, and she introduced me as her daughter in law.
The young volunteer took a while to find the right book to read,
and when she did, she had quite a bit of trouble
with punctuation and vocabulary.
At one point she came and asked me how to pronounce a word.
No one really seemed to be paying much attention,
and some folks were sleeping.
I didn't see the point of reading a story about Christmas
in early September.

Right before they began their chair exercises,
Mema and I decided to leave.
She told me all about the big lunch they had,
that they had played ball outside on the patio,
and about one lady that didn't speak at all.
Mema felt sorry for her, but said it was better
than the lady sitting alone all day.
She seems to think
that she has been coming here for many months.
Or that she is still at Whispering Pines Apts,
where she used to live.
After that afternoon, I was very upset.
The staff seemed disinterested and inexperienced.

However, Mema just adores going to school!
She has the grandest of times,
eats as much as she wants,
and both she and Mom get to spend some time apart,
which is a real bonus for both of them.
We still go to the mall on Thursdays
to watch the children playing.

We are a little unsure about how much we will go to school
when the weather turns bad,
but I will drive in any weather if Mema wants to get out.
She loves being with people!

Over all, I think this is a very good place for her
to spend a few days a week.
Most of the staff is very friendly, that I have seen.
They have activities planned for everyone.
And Mema really doesn't remember most parts of the day.
She just enjoys getting out, and being with people her own age.

I am sad because she is slowly losing  her short term memory
and repeating herself much more.
She is very healthy and feisty most days.
Some days she seems to be under a cloud,
and doesn't talk much.
I  need to try to get to see her more than I do.

Belle of the Ball!

Mema had a great time at
Mom and Dad's 50th Aniversary Party September 11, 2011
It was held in my backyard
with fifty of their friends and family.
There were the Vanderbosch clan,
the gang of friends, 13 couples Mom and Dad have known
since the first time they lived in South Bend,
and the Whispering Pines friends
when they all lived in the apartments a year ago.

Mema yodeled, danced with Daddy and Moe,
and flirted with Hilary's friend Bernard,
who adores her!
The photos are put in a bit backwards in the time loop,
and there are so many, I don't want to reorganize them.
Just use your imagination as she does the "bump",
gets dipped and kissed....
by the way, she was the one who initiated the kiss!

Some of the expressions on Bernard's face are priceless,
and I really would like to know what she said to get that reaction!

Enjoy.
Mema is!

Delays can be golden moments

Mema left tonight at 8:47 for Florida.
She is visiting her youngest daughter, Donna.
I left the house today at 4:30 to pick her up
to take her to the South Bend Airport.
Her plane was supposed to take off at 5:55.

What a delay we had!

Yesterday I packed her suitcase.
We think she has been throwing away clothing,
because she only had five shirts.
I bought her five more today.
And had to repack her before we left,
because she had gone through her suitcase last night
and re packed.
I also had to sew on a button to her shirt.
Daddy had run across the missing button,
so I didn't have to hunt down a matching one.

Off to the airport we went.
Tons of people were flying Allegiant Air to Orlando.
Come to find out,
four high school wrestling teams, including Penn,
were flying to Disney for a weekend
of fancy televised matches there.
Be sure to watch for them on Wide World of Sports.

Before we even got to the desk, there was an hour delay.
By the time we were through at the desk,
there was a two hour delay.

We walked from one end of our tiny airport
to the other, in search of dinner.
The snack bar was closed....
but there was an eating area through security.

It was difficult explaining to Mema that we had to take our shoes off
without muddling things up with the 9-11 terror attack,
war, bombs in shoes or diapers.

When we got to the security,
I took all her pills and makeup out of her carry on...
that required another explanation.
I put all of our stuff in three boxes.

Then I remembered that she had a pacemaker!




I don't think she really knew what was happening
behind that glass walled room,
but she cooperated with a big smile.
Said, she had not had that much attention in years!
Silly Mema.

Off we went to get dinner.
Grilled chicken salad.
We ment to get carrot cake for dessert,
but we got busy talking while watching the planes come and go.
Funny how much I have missed that simple past time
watching plane arrivals and take offs,
waving to and greeting loved ones,
since 9-11.
It was a real treat.

The announcement came, saying that the plane
would get into the airport at 8:30.
More time to wait!

(This is the pic I tried to take of the two of us!)
I don't think Mema stopped talking for 2 1/2 hours.
I heard stories I had heard before,
stories that were a little bit different than what I remembered,
and new stories about her childhood.
I will retell these at a different time.

Two things stood out for her though.

Grandpa used to play cards, and drink beer,
after work at the lumber yard.
Mema would get in the car and go get him about midnight,
when she thought he had been gone long enough.
Varying phrases of what she said to him,
took place during these retellings.
I think she told me this story about four times!

The other was how very lucky she felt.
Growing up poor, but happy.
Making every moment count.
Wouldn't trade it for the world, her life.
How loved she felt, and these childhood memories,
were the happiest of her life.

I hope others around us
enjoyed listening to her half as much as I did.

They finally called her flight.
She boarded first, and even got to ride up in the elevator!
Made friends with another Dorothy,
who was two rows in front of her.
Hugged and kissed me more times than I can count.
At least three fourths of those times, I initiated.

She apologised for talking so much.
And that she was sorry that I had to wait so long with her.
I should have just gone, she could wait alone.
I told her that this was the best way I ever
could have spent my 26th wedding anniversary!
Any way, us two girls didn't live very exciting lives anyway.
This was a real treat.
And we made the best out of it we could!

I know she will have a wonderful time.
My cousin and his young family are visiting their mom,
my aunt,her youngest, too!
She will be asked to make cookies and listen to stories.
I hope she goes to Disney World and gets a pair of ears.
I pray for unseasonable cool weather!

I don't know what the future will bring,
but am so blessed to have been a part
of this woman's life for five years,
on such a close personal level!

How I love her!
I realise that she is the character and strength
of my family!
We all took her hard lessons
and made them part of our own lives.

So the message is:
If you are delayed,
especially if you are delayed with a loved one,
whether it be in an airport, grocery line, etc.,
take that time and make a memory.
Have that conversation,
ask about that memory,
even if you have heard it before.
It will mean so much to you!
Put that Ipad, Kindle, list, down.
Cherish as many moments as you have!
They are blessed gifts!
If you look for them!

carpet

I don't know what sparked these comments from Mema.
I had been talking about redoing my family room floor.
Didn't know if I wanted hardwood floors or carpeting.

"Whenever anyone knocked on our door at home,
I would tip toe across the floor to answer it.
I didn't want anyone to know that we didn't have carpeting,
but only wood floors.
I was so embarrassed.
I son't know what I thought when they came into the house,
surely they saw we didn't have carpeting then.
I just remember tip toeing to the door."

beginning a flower garden

This is just a side note to the flower blog I wrote earlier.
I guess my memory is getting just as bad as Mema's.
Runs in the family.

During our talks, and especially in spring,
Mema recalls how her mother,
well actually family,
used to garden.
In the spring everyone would head out to the woods.
Shovels and buckets in hand.
Her mom would wander off the paths and shout out
when she found a specimen
that needed to go into that years' garden.
As such, there were far more perennials
than annuals blooming in her early spring garden.

Can't you just picture it now?!~
Mema and her brothers and sisters,
carrying little trowels,
Digging around in the leaves and dirt from the winter.
The boys teasing the girls with fresh worms,
the girls finding small bouquets of wild flowers.

I used to, on occasion,
try this on our walks in the woods with the girls.
It is highly frowned upon now by the authorities.

I love that the early gardens were cultivated this way though.
Such a part of our homemaking history.
Great Grandma loved her flowers,
as Mema says whenever she sees l=nice gardens.

spa days!

Mema went to the salon today to have a pedicure.
We found out that it was her first pedi!
She kept telling Hilary,
"I never knew people had this kind of stuff done to their toes!"

Now, I am thinking,
that surely she must have painted her toe nails
when she was a girl or teen?
But as I hear more stories,
and remember my Grandma when I was a child,
it probably wasn't something she ever did for herself.

She was raised on a farm with many brothers and a sister,
They were not wealthy by any means.
She was married when she was sixteen,
and worked long hours before and after that.

I am so glad that she is enjoying these days now!
When she got home,
she took off her shoes and socks to show Larry her toes.
"Aren't they pretty?!"
She kept wiggling her toes, and looking at them.
This is unusual, because Mema wears shoes and socks all the time.
When I came over, she took her shoes and socks off again,
just to show me!

Last year I took her to the salon for a facial.
Again, she had never had anything like this done before.
She loved the steam, and the arm massage, and all the lotions.
Especially the lip balm.
She kept smacking her lips together all afternoon.

What a lady!
I am so proud to know her!